When You’re the Go-To Person for Everything and You Just Want a Nap

There’s a quiet kind of exhaustion that creeps in when you’re the person everyone calls first, the one who always has the answer, the solution, the contact, the prayer, the spreadsheet, and somehow the calm voice in the storm. You don’t plan to be the reliable one, but before you know it, your week is full of other people’s needs sitting comfortably beside your own deadlines, and somehow, even your rest starts to feel like a luxury that has to be earned.

I have lived many seasons as the go-to person, smiling through it all, giving generously because I truly enjoy being helpful. Then one day, I realised that I was constantly pouring from a cup I had stopped refilling. Not dramatically, not all at once, but in small, invisible ways. I was skipping my evening walks, replying to messages far too late, saying “yes” when I really meant “let me get back to you,” and calling it flexibility when in truth it was a quiet kind of people-pleasing.

These days, I protect my peace as carefully as I protect my passwords. I give when I’m full, not when I’m running on fumes. I no longer apologize for needing quiet or choosing solitude, and I have become very comfortable with the phrase “I’m not available for that this week,” without offering a paragraph of explanation.

The people who truly love you won’t stop loving you just because you’ve stepped back to rest. In fact, when you take care of yourself properly, your “yes” carries more weight, your “no” holds more clarity, and your presence becomes richer because it is not forced, it is chosen.